This past weekend was Mi Novio's birthday and we went to Buckwallow to go mountain biking with some of the Defiant crew. I had NO idea these trails would be so crazy! We started the day off with a short jaunt around a moderately easy trail and swung back around to wait for the rest of the guys to show up. On our way back, somehow, some way, I managed to ride right in to Mi Novio's bike and fall down brutally, breaking my fall with my right knee and a solid ground. Mike, the ownerm kindly patched me up and Brad, one of the riders kindly leant me some pads for my shins/knees -- Alas, we were on our way.
The first course was intimidating to say the least -- a "4 hooves out of 6" had us riding over what the canadian shield has created as "whale-backs" and some knotty root systems. I was of course trying my best to ride it out and exhausting myself in the meantime. The guys were sweating too, if I may say... It wasn't too easy! When we got out, Wayne the leader said, "You think that was hard? Just wait!"
Next trail: 6. Fuck. Let's just say all that energy I spent up trying to conquer while avoiding to kill myself all came out in a spurt of tears once finished (walking my bike) out the trail. I was so upset.
The rest of the day was easier, with some tough do-able climbs and a much needed detour around some harder trails, but then lunch came and the other girl (Yes there was only one other in our group) asked if I'd like to ride again, but on the easier trails. I was game.
During our "easy" ride, I still managed to become breathless and exhausted. I thought "Why the heck am I so winded and she is hardly showing her exhaustion? We're doing the same trails!"
And then I asked her, and she replied: "Well, you do go very fast". And it hit me: I exhaust myself. The trail doesn't, the bike doesn't. Me! Just me.
So my self-realization this weekend: Take it easy! Why, oh why, do I push myself to the point of exhaustion? I become negative, tired, and outrageously bitchy. I am normally the first to say how much I hate complainers, but man, HELLOoo--!! So, I've decided to pass on the tough ones and ride with people more my level -- and -- to not care that I'm taking it easy! Who the eff am I trying to impress? Certainly not Mi Novio, as he utterly hates my negativity on the trail. Why ruin something for someone who loves it so much? Define: Bitch! Well, no more. I am taking a bike-riding break from the boys and finally going to enjoy riding like a girl.
M
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